Joined: Aug 2008 Gender: Female Posts: 1,337 Location: Ontario, Canada
Contemplation (Cade) « Thread Started on Jan 16, 2009, 10:53pm »
Samantha walked into the coffee shop and got a regular coffee with french vanilla cream. She then sat down at a booth and sat down, taking a sip of her coffee. She set the drink on the table to cool down a bit more, and sighed.
She had a lot on her mind. The month previous, she had lost her birth control pills for a little while, but had then doubled up on them, figuring that she'd still be fine. She hadn't had sex when she wasn't taking them. Still, she had missed her period and shown positive on a pregnancy test.
She had called the doctor right away and gone for an appointment and given them a urine sample. Turns out, they recommend using a condom or some other birth control if you miss three or more pills. If only she had known that before...
So, now Sam was pregnant because of a stupid mistake. The fact that she had been working with two guys and slept with two others outside of work hadn't helped her chances either. She didn't know who the father was, and she didn't know if she wanted to know. She didn't want many people knowing that she had messed up so badly, and if she knew who the father was then she'd have to tell him, and word would almost definitely get out.
The coffee had cooled enough for Sam to drink it and so she took a sip of it and just looked at a picture on the wall as she stayed deep in thought. She was pretty much screwed. She couldn't murder the baby.
Joined: Aug 2008 Gender: Female Posts: 253 Location: in rawrland.
Re: Contemplation (Cade) « Reply #1 on Jan 18, 2009, 9:02pm »
The sun feels warm.
Stubbing out her cigarette, Cade walked from outside into the coffee shop. She was looking better now, a lot better actually. Sunglasses were on top of her head but a discerning look was on her face. Cade walked over to Sam and sat down, hanging her bag on the side of the chair.
That night still never left her mind. Not the fact that she had almost killed herself but what had happened later that night. Then her cycle hadn't come and Cade's worries worsened. They hadn't used a condom either. Then again, her periods were messed up sometimes so she had just shrugged it off. She'd gone three months without one before due to stress and she figured that was it. This morning though, soon as her feet touched the carpet, she had had to rush to the toilet and vomit.
She had no idea what to think. She saw Sam's face though and raised an eyebrow. "You're the shade of grey. What's wrong?"
Joined: Aug 2008 Gender: Female Posts: 1,337 Location: Ontario, Canada
Re: Contemplation (Cade) « Reply #2 on Jan 18, 2009, 9:21pm »
Sam was too busy staring at the picture with her mind elsewhere to notice Cade come in. She jumped when Cade sat down, but she didn't speak until after Cade did.
She didn't feel like talking, but at the same time she wanted to tlk. She was hiding a dark and terrible secret and wanted to just tell somebody. She wanted to be alone too so she could continue to think things over, although she was just thinking the same thing again and again.
She realized that the coffee cup was still in her hand and so she set it down on the table with a shaky hand. She decided that she should just tell Cade, she was bound to find out sooner or later anyway. She she knew something about Cade that not many people knew, she had tried to kill herself. She might as well trust Cade with a secret as well.
She sighed. "I'm... pregnant," she told Cade softly.
Joined: Aug 2008 Gender: Female Posts: 253 Location: in rawrland.
Re: Contemplation (Cade) « Reply #3 on Jan 18, 2009, 9:35pm »
Oh thank god.
Was she really supposed to be thinking like that? Another person was in the same situation as her. She found her thoughts completly acceptable. Cade rested her chin on her hand and sighed.
"Well, join the club." she replied simply and took Sam's coffee and took a small drink. She found that completly acceptable too. Handing it back, hazel eyes glanced at her own stomach and her hand instinctively touched it. "Who's is it?"
How can she be so calm at a time like this? She didn't really know, but she had learned to be calm in a time of crisis...or joy? She had mixed emotions. Cade wanted it, she wanted it so badly it hurt, but what about Johnny? He mentioned one time that kids just weren't for him...
Joined: Aug 2008 Gender: Female Posts: 1,337 Location: Ontario, Canada
Re: Contemplation (Cade) « Reply #4 on Jan 18, 2009, 9:41pm »
Sam looked at Cade. "What? You're pregnant? Huh?" she asked, pretty confused. It seemed very unlikely that they'd both be pregnant at the same time, especially since neither of them were dating anybody. Or, as far as she knew Cade wasn't dating anyone either.
She shrugged. "I honestly have no idea. There were these two guys at work, and then two other guys," she said, knowing that she sounded like a slut. Well, if the shoe fits... She trusted Cade though, and knew that rumours wouldn't get out. No more than there already were, anyway.
Joined: Aug 2008 Gender: Female Posts: 253 Location: in rawrland.
Re: Contemplation (Cade) « Reply #5 on Jan 18, 2009, 9:50pm »
I always thought i'd be like that.
Cade nodded her head and looked so casual about it. "Wow. Well, i'll make you feel a bit better." Cade leaned in and motioned her forward. She looked around as if she was paranoid and told Sam in a low tone, "Johnny's the father of mine."
It should make her feel better at least. Two best friends have sex for the first time and she gets pregnant. Would the drama in her life ever stop? "I don't know how to tell him either." she shrugged and sat back.
Joined: Aug 2008 Gender: Female Posts: 1,337 Location: Ontario, Canada
Re: Contemplation (Cade) « Reply #6 on Jan 18, 2009, 9:55pm »
The fact that Cade was so calm helped Sam calm down a bit. She was still upset though, the poor baby was going to have to grow up not knowing who it's father was. That would suck.
She leaned forward long enough to hear who had impregnated Cade. She then leaned back. "Seriously? When?" she asked. "I don't know what would be worse, knowing who the father was and not wanting to tell him, or not knowing who the father is," she said. Both seemed awful to her.
Joined: Aug 2008 Gender: Female Posts: 253 Location: in rawrland.
Re: Contemplation (Cade) « Reply #7 on Jan 21, 2009, 6:27pm »
There both shit.
Cade gave a slight nod. "I...I don't know if I should keep it. I mean, look at my life...it's not exactly the kind of life for a kid."
She knew it was the truth. An abortion would be so much simplier. Then again, this was a freak accident on her part. The doctor had said she was too small inside to have children...or too small to try and have children? She'd been pretty stoned that day.
"It's cheaper to get an abortion than to have a baby.", she also added as if she was trying to convince herself.
Joined: Aug 2008 Gender: Female Posts: 1,337 Location: Ontario, Canada
Re: Contemplation (Cade) « Reply #8 on Jan 21, 2009, 7:13pm »
"Abortions are free, but it's still murder," Sam said softly. She'd never be able to have an abortion. She'd have to change her lifestyle quite a bit, but she was willing to do that. She was an occasional drug user and drank sometimes, and she'd have to give up both of those. She also wouldn't be able to have spur of the moment sleepovers with Sarah, unless they were at her house.
"And how would you be able to kill this baby, and then decide to keep another one later?" she asked. She had never been able to understand how people could do that. She loved babies and was shocked that people could intentionally kill one, even if it wasn't born yet.
She sighed, "It's your decision of course, and people will support whatever you choose, it's just... I don't agree with abortion," she told Cade. Sometimes the baby would have such a rotten life that an abortion seemed nicer to it, but Sam felt that Cade could make a good mother if she just changed some of her ways.
((holy fuck. i was so baked yesterday. we were really ghetto and did it out of a popcan, but it was fun. but then i laughed for like five minutes straight as i followed darina through her house as she cleaned up. i remember her dumping the remains outside, and then i have no idea what happened until she told me that i was laughing a lot. she found it hilarious though. i was getting worried that i was annoying her, but i just couldnt help it. so then she put on a movie that we rented (another gay movie) and at the beginning there was a note left on the table telling the kid that his parents went out (thats what darina thinks it said, anyway). i read it and was like, "happy birthday... what?" and then it went to the next scene so i never did read it. lol. then at another point i totally stopped paying attention to the movie at all because the one guy had an amazing shirt. then i tried to pick up a cheese nacho but it was really heavy and darina thought that was amazing. that was so fun, it was my first time being really high and i wanted to share that with someone. ))
Joined: Aug 2008 Gender: Female Posts: 253 Location: in rawrland.
Re: Contemplation (Cade) « Reply #9 on Jan 30, 2009, 8:23am »
It's such a hard choice...
Cade didn't answer Sam. Instead, her mobile rang with heavy metal and she examined the caller ID. Her lips frowned in discontent and she answered.
"Hello? Oh. Yeah, i'm having some coffee with Sam. Yeah, i'll pick up the cycle. Oh! We're meeting Dallas at his around nine tonight. Alright, you too, bye."
Cade pressed the button on her iPhone and it hung up. She looked at Sam tiredly. "That was Johnny. Now that things have settled down a bit, we're doing okay. How can I just disrupt his life like this?"
So self-riotous. She finally got up and stepped outside the shop, lighting a cigarette. Fuck it, she might have to quit anyways.
Joined: Aug 2008 Gender: Female Posts: 1,337 Location: Ontario, Canada
Re: Contemplation (Cade) « Reply #10 on Jan 30, 2009, 9:06am »
Sam drank some of her coffee as Cade spoke on the phone. She knew that she was talking to Johnny, but she wasn't sure what the were talking about.
She sighed. "Don't tell him it's his? Or would that make it worse?" she asked. She had no idea what Cade should do. "Just do what feels right, he'll support you either way," she said.
Joined: Aug 2008 Gender: Female Posts: 253 Location: in rawrland.
Re: Contemplation (Cade) « Reply #11 on Jan 30, 2009, 11:54pm »
I'm scared.
Cade sniffed and finished her cigarette. She felt like she wanted to cry but she sucked it up and came back in. She finally answered Sam, "I love him, Sam. I always have, but I never felt how I do now. He's always loved me, always told me so. How...what do I do? Damn it, we're both druggies and border line alcoholics. It's not just that...we're barely making ends meet."
Cade hated feeling this helpless. She finally stood up and put her sunglasses on. "Let's go for a walk. I hate staying in places too long."
Joined: Aug 2008 Gender: Female Posts: 1,337 Location: Ontario, Canada
Re: Contemplation (Cade) « Reply #12 on Jan 31, 2009, 12:05pm »
Sam nodded and stood up. "But if you just put in a bit of effort for nine months, then I can babysit it for you guys to go out and misbehave for a night. Or we could hire a sitter or something," she said. She still lived with her parents, when they decided to be present. She could borrow their money for whatever she needed, they didn't care. She wanted to save up for some of the items she desired sometimes though, to see how normal people had it.
And as for babysittitting, she could easily pay a sitter of both her and Cade's kid were getting watched. She could also lavish them in baby gifts. She had ample amount of money and little to spend it on. She grew up feeling that money could solve any problem, and still felt that way somewhat. She knew some problems weren't that easy, but most were. Having a baby was one that could be helped with money.
As long as Cade could refrain from alcohol and drugs for nine months, everything would work out fine. It would be a very hard month for Cade, Sam knew that, but it was necessary. Too bad you couldn't throw your already conceived baby into a surrogate mother's belly. That had to be done earlier on.
As for the part with Johnny... Cade would have to tell him obviously if she planned on keeping it, he'd probably notice if the very thin Cade gained twenty or so pounds. Guys were pretty oblivious, but he'd notice a huge gut suddenly. And he'd notice the lack of drinking and drugs. If she got an abortionshe could just keep the whole thing a secret from Johnny forever. That'd be hard though, lying about something that big would not be easy, he was bound to find out sometime that he could have had a kid, and he might be mad at not knowing or having any say in whether or not it got to live.
"I honestly think that you're going to have to tell him either way. Just be gentle while doing it and make sure he's sitting and say it when he's in a good mood and sober," Sam told Cade. "If you can go nine months without drugs or alcohol, I'll help you as much as I can with it, and so will Sarah."
Joined: Aug 2008 Gender: Female Posts: 253 Location: in rawrland.
Re: Contemplation (Cade) « Reply #13 on Feb 2, 2009, 9:30pm »
I hate it when other people are right.
"Old habits are hard to break. Sam, i'm not ready to grow up. Not yet, i'm barely twenty."
How had she gotten to twenty? It seemed like yesterday she had been a little kid. "I wish I was five again, when things were so much simplier.", she told Sam while putting her hair up in a ponytail. A few guys turned their heads and she smirked. If only they knew she was knocked up.
There she went again. Cade sat down and pulled out her phone. "Could you help me tell him?"
She shifted her shades so Sam could see her eyes looking at her.
Joined: Aug 2008 Gender: Female Posts: 1,337 Location: Ontario, Canada
Re: Contemplation (Cade) « Reply #14 on Feb 3, 2009, 7:31pm »
Sam smiled. "Those were the days..." she said. "I can't say I miss being talked down to all the time though. I do miss the barbie that got her head ripped off by my jerk of a neighbour though. That was an awesome barbie," she laughed. She missed being a kid, but she loved where she was in live now, minus the baby that was apparently in her stomach.
"Did you know that a baby's heart doesn't start beating until it's been in your stomach for four weeks? I thought that was neat," she said, recalling what her little cousin, who was only two years younger than Sam, and told Sam a few weeks ago. Sam had thought that was really neat, that a mammal could be alive without having a working heart.
She looked over at Cade when asked if she could hepl break the news to Johnny. "Of course I'll help," she said, without hesitation. She was always there to help Cade, just as she had promised that day in the apartment. "You have to help me tell Sarah then though," she told Cade. She was worried about telling Sarah. The baby was going to interfere with their friendship quite a bit, Sam wouldn't be able to spontaneously hang out, she'd have to pay attention to the baby all the time, and Sarah would be put second most of the time, something that she hated. Not to mention the fact that they couldn't really party for the next nine months.
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